German Wine Demystified: Germany’s Wine Regions

A few days ago, I celebrated one of those “milestone” birthdays. You know, the ones with a zero or five at the end of the (hopefully) two-digit number. Fortunately, my husband lifted me out of my “I’m aging” depression with a truly wonderful gift: a box of carefully-selected German wines.

Huh? Who drinks German wine, anyway? It’s not popular. And all the bottles have nuns on them, right?

When I tell people that I’m writing a new column on German wine, the inevitable response is, “Oh, that sweet stuff,” which proves my main theory of German wine – let’s call it Theorem G.

Theorem G: Most casual wine drinkers outside of Germany have no idea what German wines are all about.

And that’s no coincidence.

German wine styles are confusing, at best. It’s difficult to decode the detailed labels. Many German cooperatives and estates produce so many types of wine that drinkers often can’t tell one German wine from another. Recent changes to German wine classification laws have muddled the picture. Most American wine shops don’t stock a wide range of German wine. Many wine lovers just give up on the whole German thing.

This brings me to my next theorem – I’ll call this one Theorem N.

Theorem N: You’re missing out if you don’t taste some German wine.

German wines aren’t just light, white and sweet. German wineries produce some opulent reds, amazing (and expensive!) specialty wines and dry, balanced whites. If you haven’t tasted good-quality German wine, you’ve shortchanged yourself.